Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wanna passion pit in your ass
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
