That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
