She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
