if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
