he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
