Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
