She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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