I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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