Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
