two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
