Me too!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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