Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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