Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
