Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize