You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
