Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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