Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
