Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
