i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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