girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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