Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
