Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
