May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
