I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
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Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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