I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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