I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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