Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
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I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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