Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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