Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
