i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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