your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
