Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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