I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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