Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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