my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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