did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
