Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
