Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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