forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
