is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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