At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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