Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
