So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
