i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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