I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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