then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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