I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
