Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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