Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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