Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
one two three fourrrrnication!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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