Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
