There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
