I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize