The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
