I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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