im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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