I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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