I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
