hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
