i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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