Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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